Him: I like to poop. It's my favorite thing to do in the potty.
Him: Yeah. I love it.
Me: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Knees and toes...
Him: And shoes.
Him: I'm just a little sad that the rain is falling down.
Me: Don't pretend to eat the computer.
Him: But you eat the computer.
Me: I do?
Him: Yeah. You do it all the time.
Me: What happened?
Him, crying because he fell: The floor didn't catch me!